What's your bench?

What's your bench? How many times have we heard this question? In my
opinion, far too many. I admit, my bench is horrible;
this however, is not the reason I hate the question. I come from a sport
where bench is not used as a determiner of overall body
strength. Squat, deadlift, stone lift, truck pull, front carry and a myriad
of other full body movements are used (in strongman) to determine
overall strength.

Bench and bi's however are the glamour movement made famous by oiled up
bikini brief wearing body builders. The time when Paul Anderson
strict pressed over 400 pounds overhead are a by gone era now. Now it's all
about mashing into as many ply gear as we can and claiming
our bench is 500 plus pounds, (some in excess of 900lbs).

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy benching, but aside from making my chest look
nice, it's useless. It's like curling. I look good doing it, but chances
are slim in the real world you will see me benching a washing machine. Chances are
good however that I will need to pick one up and carry it. This is an easy
task for anyone with a strong back and legs.

I find it funny when men built like a marshmallows supported by toothpicks
can bench twice their body weight but cant even come close to a full back
squat at body weight without whining that it hurts or it's hard. Sure, it's great
that you can bench press a bus, but you can't pick up and move your fridge
without asking for your wife's help.

I have found that replying to the "what can you bench" question with, " I
don't bench, but I can pick up your car" much more effective then
explaining myself. So next time, before you ask someone the same old redundant question about bench, maybe take a look at the person....are his legs as skinny as a
sparrow's with full blown aids? Then who cares what he can bench, because
overall, he is weak.

Stand up, put some weight on your back and squat and next time ask, "hey,
how much can you squat?"

Top Reasons Why I Train at a Gym Not a Fitness Center

How many times have you been forced to train at a Fitworks or Bally's or Anytime Fitness and wondered how people manage to
get anything done in these useless for anything but cardio places? I think like most people who seriously train with weights, we have all come
up through the ranks and had or fair share of 'fitness center' workouts that turned out being even more horrible than we could imagine.
Getting kicked out for using chalk, having a hard core T-shirt on or, my favorite one, using TOO MUCH WEIGHT....are you kidding me??
How can there be such a thing as using too much weight? Isn't that the whole point? To get stronger, bigger, better? Maybe in our world,
but in the fitness center world, it's all about shaving down and looking pretty. It's not what you lift but how you look; sad but true. So here is our list
of why we train and a gym and not a fitness center.

1. I like not being judged for my chest hair and lack of spray on tan
2. I like the fact that even if I wanted to tan, I wouldn't fit in the tanning bed anyway
3. I like the fact that the blood I drip on the floor is looked upon like a badge of honor, not a bio hazard risk that clears out the whole place
and gets me a $50.00 fine for the cleaning bill.
4. When I drop something, it doesn't get me glares of hatred but looks of approval and occasional applause.
5. The common squeezed out fart from a heavy pull or squat gets laughs and joined in congregational farts not limp wristed 'men' giving me the 'eeeeeeeeew' comment.
6. The vomit station is never empty
7. When I collapse on the floor, there are three other guys already down there from exhaustion, not three guys coming to tell me I can't lay on the floor.
8. This is a big one, I like listening to Slayer not Molly Cyrus when I lift.
9. I like being visited by Chad Aichs not some Brad Pitt wanna be
10. I swear that is a kegorator in the owners office....

Uncle Teddy..A Real Man, A Real Patriot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4APaynT1ix8&feature=related

Rights of Passage and On Becoming a Man

In my prior posts, I have cracked jokes, thrown some insults and tried to be generally serious with a heavy side of sarcastic. This post will be a little different in that I feel very seriously about the lack of manhood initiation rights in our culture.

Becoming a man in America has been marginalized and turned into TV and movie fodder with comments like, "he's a man now" because he got laid for the first time, but any animal can have sex and eat and this hardly makes it a man. For that matter any young girl can get pregnant on accident but it hardly makes her a woman or prepared for the great responsibility of parenthood and being a mother.

Many of you I am sure have heard the saying, "you're the father but you are not their dad." There is a difference in passing along some genetic materials to get your rocks off and actually being a dad to that child. Sadly, many of us grew up with absentee fathers or with fathers who could care less about the child seeking their approval.

This bring me full circle to my point for this post. Manhood rituals and initiation. We are one of the few countries that lacks manhood trials or initiation rights. We grow up, play some football, drink some beer and think we are men because our balls are hairy now and we can hold down a six pack. Sadly, many of the most well endowed men are hardly 'a man'.

Stone lifting, your first successful solitary hunt, ritual tattooing, ritual scaring are but a few of the hundreds of manhood initiation rights that boys all over the world must prepare to go through in order to be 'accepted' as a man in their village. Before and leading up to their initiation rights, their fathers are teaching them daily what it means to be a proper man.

The Hunt is probably one of the most widely recognized manhood rights of passage. It shows the mans prowess and it showcases his ability to take care of those around him, and like it or not guys, part of being a man means taking responsibility for those around you. Going out for the kill on your own, bringing home sustenance and hide that can be turned into clothing and tools.

In our culture you hear repeatedly, "worry about yourself" or "take care of you first." We live in a culture of self first and others last. We have lost all sense of moral and ethic soundness. The focus is on what we can do and screw everyone else. I'll be a man when I feel like it. Our 'politically correct' society says it's ok to be a useless sack of shit...it's all good, it's all ok and let us suckle the weak in mind and character and fill the population with stupidity and a complete lack of moral fortitude.

Hey, cheat if it helps you win, lie if it gets you ahead and chase some new tail if the old tail is boring to you now. Obviously this philosophy is paying off greatly in a 70% plus divorce rate and a slew of fatherless boys growing up to be boys instead of men. Let PS3 raise your child and plug this movie in to keep them entertained.

Why take them out to the garage and spend some time with them teaching them useful life skills and how to deal with things as they come up? What happened to the "son, let me tell you" talks? What happened to pride in our fighting men? Now we call them baby killers or demonize OUR OWN soldiers as we pacify the ethically defunct nations we are at war with.

Join the military? NEVER. Support our military? HELL NO. Cry for the bastards that flew a plain into the twin towers..well, of course and why not? I mean, have we forgotten that strapping a bomb to yourself and killing innocent people is an expression of happiness in other cultures? WTF?

We have become fodder for other nations to mock, to laugh at because we have become weak metrosexual fatherless men who pass nothing of value or merit to our children. So, maybe instead of sitting on your fat ass with a beer in your hand watching the TV like a sack of worthless shit, you get up and take your son to the garage and work on his bike with him, or have him help you work on the car. Maybe you take him on a great hunt and share your knowledge with him and explain the importance of being a man, of responsibility, of fatherhood and of character that he will see so little of as he grows up around thousands who are not men.

What Does It Mean To Be A Silverback

This is a question that many have asked, many have argued and many still have no clue. What does it mean to epitomize manhood? What is being an alpha male? As I mentioned in the intro blog, manliness is being quickly and effectively squelched by a society that wants to tame us down and stick us into a politically correct, sensitive mold; basically make us effeminate. Like the cover of women's magazines, subliminally hinting at how a woman should look, all of 25lbs of skin barely clinging to a week skeletal frame, mass media has redefined what a man should look like.

Body hair? Real beards? God forbid! We live in the age of shave it down, trim it up and get a nice tan so that we look as androgynous and non threatening as possible. Men more resemble women in our current trend than anything else. There is obviously a reason why as well. The design we have evolved from is dwindling do to large corporate jobs and days sitting in front of a computer instead of days out in the forest.

Hands are softening as are minds, skills and abilities once unique to manhood. The protector roll, our last vestige of hope is being taken away as well in the "I am woman hear me roar" age. Don't hold that door open, don't carry those grocery bags or pick up that heavy object because "I can do it myself" is sure to quickly and harshly follow your attempt to help.

So that leaves the question, what is a man? Are we still hunters? Protectors? Gatherers and fixers? Are you being yelled at for "trying to fix" every problem? Being told "you don't listen you just try and fix things"? The problem is guys, fixing is in your nature, as is aggression, the desire to hunt and kill, the desire to protect and growl and pound your chest. It is part of your evolutionary nature and NO we are not evolving into something "higher". Evolution does not go towards a certain outcome as is often mistakenly stated. Evolution is based on the environment and an ability to survive.

Now I see what is coming from many a reader..."well maybe we are evolving into metrosexual men based on our environment"....in part I would say this is correct. Adaptation is a key to survival and from all appearances, men are dying out and being replaced by the androgynous she male that waxes his balls and shaves his chest. But what about the real men who are left and being ignored or closeted off into a box that is quietly being covered with a "do not open" sign?

The problem is, we have allowed this. We have become soft, complacent, malleable like mud. Being a man means fighting for what you believe in, not waving a sign that says, "Please Don't." Change is created through action and we have FAILED TO ACT. So we are losing ourselves. We sit on the sidelines watching change happen but not having the strength of our convictions to affect change ourselves. Being a silverback is about having the strength to affect change. Having the WILL to stand up, create and push forward with a desire and a need.

If this seems like too much for you, you can always wax your balls, shave your chest, get some great highlights in your hair and go shop at Ambercrombie....

Welcome to On Being a Silverback

Welcome to the Gorilla-Pit blog, On Being a Silverback. Obviously this blog is intended for men; both young and old. Why am I writing it though? I recently came across another blog about manliness and it sparked an idea. Although the blog was entertaining and well written, I had some philosophical issues with some of its content. I see, on a regular basis, the very nature of being manly, being derided, stereotyped and almost in all ways, turned into a negative 'thing'.

Why is it that being truly manly, (this means having body hair, physical size, a desire for strength, meat, sex and power) has been turned into something totally negative? Why are men (and I use this term loosely) shaving their bodies down like women, worried more about their hair and outfits then their usefulness in the real world? I didn't realize learning the exact amount of hair gell to use had an evolutionary advantage. The idea of the hunter gatherer has faded almost out of existence.

I recently posted a rant on facebook on this very topic. A recent trip to the mall to get a birthday present for someone had me people watching and thinking more than usual. I happened to be stuck outside of 'Abercrombie & Fitch' waiting for my wife to come out of another store. For the first time I actually looked up and was watching the people that came in and out of this store. The reek of too much cologne and larger than life posters of 'men'....more like shaved down, trimmed down, tanned down Androgynous THINGS.

I was disgusted with the traffic coming in and out of this store. Boys in skin tight low rise jeans, all with the dirty flop haircut, scarfs, one brown leather wrist band and a shirt too short and/or tight to actually tuck in. They looked like clones marching right out of the production line. Many of them had a 'man purse' over shoulder, long pointed and useless shoes and it honestly felt and looked life a bunch of women coming out of Victoria's secret, cackling, giggling and skipping away like happy little girls.

This got me thinking about how men are portrayed in movies, commercials and society in general. Gen X and GenY are two generations raised by single mothers. Manhood traditions, manners, actions and skills have not been passed down to us and many of us, are not around for the children that we helped create to teach them what being a man really means.

Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Charles Bronson, Arnold and other real heroes of ages past that portrayed real manliness have been replaced with The Bachelor, Brett Michael's Rock of Love, the American Eagle male models and more fem, metrosexuals who couldn't last a day without their Axe Body Spray, cell phones or shaving their legs(?).

Men who hunt, fish or drive a pick-up are mocked, portrayed as dumb hillbillies with no education and socially derided by the over population of men who truly need a tampon and a purse. We have been convinced that owning a firearm is evil or stupid. We should give up our rights and allow the government to take care of us (which really means control us) and we should just go get a pedicure with the wife.

This blog will be a series of short do's and don'ts on my take on what manliness really should be. Honor, respect, bravery, loyalty (and yes, to your woman as well). We will talk about politics, religion, sex, money and other things that 'we shouldn't'. I hope this blog helps men feel like it is ok to be men again.

Yes guys, it is ok to be protective of your wife, it is ok to feel angry and even EXPRESS that anger. No, fighting is not being a neanderthal and yes it can even be a healthy expression of manhood. But let's not forget other important parts of being a man, like chivalry, education/knowledge and being selfless for those we are charged with protecting. I hope to see you back here in the future! Please join this blog and help it grow!